


Intruder

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [88]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established, M/M, Paintball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-15 13:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2231337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where there is a security breach in the Bus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Aw come on! That was totally cheating!" Fitz yelled over his controller.

"I don’t think using a blue shell constitutes as cheating." Simmons commented, leaning to the right as her character turned right at the bend of the road.

"You’re just pissed ‘coz you’re dead last." Skye told him, biting her lip in concentration.

Ward was still in first place, leaning forward and concentrating like his life depended on it. Skye bumped his shoulder and Ward snapped out of his trance, his character skidding in the outer lanes. Ward groaned.

"Okay, now that’s cheating." Everybody paused the game and turned to see a blond man standing behind them, watching their game. 

In a matter of seconds, FitzSimmons was behind Ward and Skye, who drew their guns at the guy. The guy raised his hands in surrender. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” Ward demanded.

"I turned left when I should’ve turned the fuck around?" The guy tried. Skye kept her gun pointed at the guy while Ward reached up to his comm and called May for reasons of ‘security breach’.

May arrived exactly 37 seconds later and while Ward held the guy at gun point, May was talking to the others. Asking about anything to tip the alarms off. There was nothing the Bus absolutely did not detect anything or anyone coming in or out of it. 

"Okay, This is getting boring." The guy said and within seconds, the air was covered in talcum powder. Ward shot the ICERs blind but by the time the air cleared, the guy was gone. 

They looked around but there was no sign of the guy. They were, however, covered in talcum powder. 

"Find him." May instructed. They all nodded and took separate corners of the Bus. 

30 minutes of searching yielded them nothing. The guy was gone. Just like the ghost that haunted tried to kill them just to protect Hannah once upon a mission. They were all gathered in the command room when the speakers let out white noise.

"-lo? Helloooooo? Is this thing on?" It was the guy. He was in the cockpit. May was soooo going to skin him. "Sweet! it’s on!" The guy cleared his throat and with a forced deep voice he spoke again. "Shall we play a game? I want to call this game, Paintball 2-point-oh. The rules are simple: Each of you get a gun loaded with a single paintball, they’re on your beds, each with a different color. You can choose whichever color you want, but mine is purple." He chuckled for a moment. "To make it interesting, It’s your team versus me. And since I’m on my own, I get five paintballs. One for each of you. If any of you manage to shoot me, I’ll surrender without a fight. But if I win… well, let’s just say your dear boss won’t be a fan. Ready? Go." The speakers released white noise again and was cut off. 

"Paintballs?" Ward asked.

"It doesn’t matter. He has Coulson. Let’s just shoot that asshole and force him to tell where AC is." They all agreed and proceeded to each of their bunks to retrieve their gun.

—-

FitzSimmons were in the lab, trying to take command of the video feed when the guy dropped in on them from who knows where. Simmons yelped and shot. 

"Ow!" Fitz gripped his shoulder, which was now stained with a bright yellow splotch. "Watch where you point that thing!"

The guy snickered. “You’re adorable.” He said before he shot each of them once dead center on the chest. He shrugged and walked out of the lab like he owned the place. FitzSimmons both looked at the huge marks on their chests and then at each other. They both ran to report to Melinda.

—-

May was taken out next. 

She was on her way to the cockpit when she heard a creaking noise. She took out her paintball gun and readied herself. She listened even more closely to the footsteps headed toward her and hid in one corner. When the footsteps were close enough, she came out of the corner and shot the man.

"Aw, come on!" Fitz yelled, turning around to try and get a look at his back where a bright green splotch was firmly resting.

"May, Look out!" Simmons warned her, and she quickly rolled out of the way, only to be shot on the thigh. 

The guy winked at her and disappeared around the corner again.

"Come on. Let’s go. We need to catch that guy, paintball or not." She growled.

—-

Next on his list was Skye. He purposely intended to take Ward out last because according to rumors he was the sniper on the team. And wasn’t that just fun. 

He found Skye lounging on the couches, like there wasn’t a game going on. This was so a trap. Did they really think he was that naive? Oh well, time to play along. 

"So, your team is almost out of ammo." He said to Skye, coming out of hiding, his gun still in his hand. 

"You’re telling me." Skye’s gun was nowhere to be found, he could shoot her right here, right now but where’s the fun in that?

"I guess you’re not that good after all." He commented just as he heard Ward inching his way closer. Pfft. Amateurs. 

"I’d like to think we are, actually." She smiled, and that’s when Clint turned to fire a round at Ward.

What he didn’t expect however, was for Skye to shoot him at the same time. So now, while Ward was sporting a purple paint stain on his shirt, the guy also had pink on his back.

"What’s going on here?" A voice made Skye and Ward, along with May and FitzSimmons who just got there to look at Coulson. Alive and well. 

The guy winced. 

"Why is there powder all over the floor and why is Fitz multicolored?" He narrowed his eyes at the man who still refused to look at him. "Clint?"

The guy slowly turned around with an apologetic smile. “Heeeeeeeeey Phil.”

"Oh God, Please tell me you didn’t." Coulson sighed, face palming.

"I’m sorry? I couldn’t resist." Phil walked up to him and he may have stepped back a bit. 

Phil glared at him and pulled him by the ear. “Come on.”

"Ow, Ow, Ow!!" The guy dropped his gun and trailed after Phil by the ear as Phil nagged him. 

"Time and again, I keep on telling you not to follow me to work. The people I work with can and will not hesitate to  _actually_  kill you!”

They exited without even turning back to explain anything to anybody. The team just stood there staring at them then at each other, still stunned at what the fuck just happened to even say anything.


	2. Chapter 2

"Is that- Is that normal?" Skye asked, her eyes still glued to the closed door of Phil’s office from the lounge.

"No." Ward answered flatly.

"Should we intervene?" Fitz asked.

"I think not. They didn’t seem like they were strangers." Simmons told Fitz.

"They’re not. At least I don’t think so." May concluded. "I’ve heard rumors of it, but I never actually had any proof to back it up."

"Proof of what?" Skye turned to her with a single eyebrow raised.

"Proof of his marriage." Ward answered instead.

"Sir is married?" FitzSimmons asked together.

"AC is gay?" Skye asked. "I mean, I guess that  _is_ hot. especially with sharp shooter inside. Do you think they’re having really kinky sex right now?”

May rolled her eyes. Ward looked offended. Fitz had a confused frown on his face and Simmons scrunched up her nose. 

"What? You were all thinking it!" Skye defended.

"No. No we’re really not." Ward huffed.

Just then the door to Phil’s office opened and Coulson came out just as he was fixing his tie.

Skye turned a smug grin at the entire team. “Totally called it.”

"Called what?" The mystery man asked from the opposite side of where Phil was from.

Skye turned from one man to the other. “What- How?!”

"Everyone, may I introduce to you" Phil started, as he walked towards Clint’s side. "Clint Barton, my husband."

Clint raised a lazy hand in wave. “Hey.”

"And he apologizes for any and all inconvenience he might have caused by intruding the Bus." 

"I am sorry." Clint said, even with a shit eating grin. "But that was fun. I never had that much fun with the guys at the range and when-" Phil interrupted by clearing his throat. "Right. Not gonna happen again. Sorry. again."

"Clint has promised not to follow me to work anymore, so there will no longer be impromptu paintball wars." 

"Aw, darn." May said with a completely straight face.

Clint snickered into his hand, followed by Skye and Simmons’ giggling then Fitz laughed and Ward actually smiled. 

All in all, it wasn’t terrible as first impressions go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/103301804186/my-friend-is-drunk-and-shes-singing-the-national)

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/96270009326/i-now-have-the-sims-2-innocent-life-tekken-6)
> 
> As usual, [message me](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/ask) for requests so I can add it to my queue. :)


End file.
